Idiot of the Day #1

Okay, let's be real. I'm terrible at blogging. This might be the first time I've blogged all year. I really don't know.

But guess what! I've come up with a blog series that might actually keep my interest. Keyword: might.

You see, I now work at what I'll call an extremely popular tourist destination. I'm keeping it anonymous for reasons which will soon be obvious. And while I'm truly enjoying meeting people from all over the world, I also meet a lot of idiots. In my four months of working here I've all but lost hope for the human race. Trust me: you would too. And if it's not enough for a guest to be stupid, sometimes they'll have to get in my face and yell at me about it as well. And from now on, when that happens I'm going to document it here.

So here we go! This here is Idiot of the Day #1.


A bit of back story: I work on a ride which involves the guest being enclosed in a capsule. It's dark. It's cramped. It's awful for anyone who is claustrophobic. That's why we warn you several times via different media that you will be in a dark, enclosed space.

Well, IOTD #1 gets off the ride, gets in my face, points at the capsule he just exited, and rudely says, "That's very claustrophobic!"

It took everything within me not to retort, "No, sir, YOU are claustrophobic. The ride is inanimate and therefore has no phobias." Instead I simply responded, "Yes. It is."

In the same rude tone of voice he says, "If had known it was going to be like that I wouldn't have ridden!" and turns to walk away.

I waited until he was out of earshot to say, "Sorry you don't know how to watch a safety video! Sucks to suck!"

I mean, really. Come on, dude. It's not like we forced you to ride. In fact, we forced you to tell us you were ready before we started the ride. So that's on you, buddy.


Ah. I think this is going to be very cathartic for me. :-)

Until next time!

Even-More-Successful Success!!!!

The best thing I've cooked so far!!!!! Also the first thing I've cooked that I would actually serve to someone else!


You know how I came up with this recipe? I just copied what I always saw the Centenary caf workers do at the pasta station! And I'm not even joking. Hahaha.

First I sautéed the zucchini (sliced more thinly this time), then I threw in the vegan hot dog slices. Once those items were cooked I threw in some canned Prego spaghetti sauce and some cooked spaghetti, and voila! Perfection. Seriously, that shit was good.

Tonight I am tackling something a bit more difficult, so I'll let you know how it goes!

Success!!!!

I finally made something delicious! It wasn't perfect, but I liked it a lot.

Alright, I know it looks weird, and it kind of was. I just grabbed a bunch of ingredients I felt like eating and sautéed them together. This concoction contained leftover quinoa, sliced baby carrots, sliced zucchini, and a sliced vegan hot dog. (I'm completely serious.)

I was shocked by how well the quinoa and veggie dog went together. Seriously, that combination was fantastic. The actual veggies went pretty well in the mix too, but I should've cooked them a little longer. I didn't get the cooking order right - I should've put the veggies in the pan first, then the "meat," then the quinoa. (Note to self: just because it looks like meat doesn't mean it cooks like meat.) I also could've cut the veggies into thinner slices.

Oh, and the secret to my sauté success? Just Pam. Hahaha. For reals!

Not sure what I was thinking.

I don't have much of an excuse for this shenanigan of a meal.


I cooked some quinoa on the stove, mixed in some leftover lentils, and somehow thought I could pull it all together with a bit of balsamic vinaigrette. I found a recipe online for a warm quinoa and lentil salad, but I didn't want to go shop for all the vegetables and spices. So instead I just, you know, cut out all of the ingredients that were intended to go well with the vinaigrette. It also didn't help that the dressing poured out of the bottle way too quickly, so my meal was sort of drowned in a balsamic sea.

Verdict: Well, it tasted like quinoa and lentils covered in balsamic vinaigrette. Not much else to say about that.

I've discovered that cooking random ingredients isn't so hard: it's putting them together in an flavorful and appetizing arrangement that gives me trouble. Like, I can cook the quinoa no problem, but then what do I do with it? I should reemphasize my unwillingness to go back to the grocery store. I was just there yesterday.

On a side note, I'm becoming quite fond of lentils. And asparagus. God, I love me some asparagus. I just wish it didn't make my pee smell so weird.

In other news, I'm about 30 pages from the end of The Fault in Our Stars, and I'm going to see John and Hank tomorrow!!!

I'm Learning to Cook

It's been a long time (long time). I shouldn't have left you (left you)
Without a dope beat to step to (step to, step-step to, step to, step to).

Alright, enough lyrically-relevant 90's jams. I haven't blogged in forever, and I'm not sure I'm going to try to catch up. I think I'll just start with right now and only provide backstory if it serves the blog.

So what am I up to right now? Well, today I slept 'til noon, went for a run around the LSU lakes (I love to run now!), and then I got groceries and cooked myself dinner. And THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout.

I decided today that I want to learn to cook for real. No more Lean Cuisine, no more pasta and canned veggies for every meal. It's going to be a trial-and-error process for sure, and it may not make the most interesting blogging. But if you'd like to follow me on this journey, you are more than welcome.

Tonight I started with something fairly simple: basmati rice with lentils.

(The asparagus came from a frozen steamer bag, so they don't count. And yes, I need to work on my portion control. One thing at a time!)

I cooked the rice and lentils in two separate pots. I was surprised at how easy it was to cook rice on the stove. I don't have a rice cooker at the moment, so I had to make do. I let them both cook for about 15 minutes, and then I just combined them on the plate and added a tiny bit of soy sauce.

Verdict: Not bad. Pretty tasty, very filling. I didn't quite mix the soy sauce evenly, so parts of it were a little dry. The parts with more soy sauce were great, though!

I want to explore new ways to cook this meal. Soy sauce is pretty heavy on the sodium, so I'd like to find a way around that. Next time I might try sautéing the cooked rice and lentils together with some olive oil and maybe some onions. I bet that would be fantastic.

So that's meal #1. This should be fun for me. For you, maybe not so much. We shall see.

In other news, I'm going to see John and Hank Green in New Orleans on Wednesday!!!! I'm pretty psyched. I'm about 2/3 of the way through The Fault in Our Stars, and I love it so much. I'm going to do my best to finish it before the event, so you may not hear from me again in the next few days. If you happen to be at the NOLA event, please find me and say hi!

Day 30: Tomorrow is the Month of Maying

Well, here we are. The last day of BEDA. And I'm quite alright with that.

It's safe to say that I pretty much failed yet again at blogging every day, but at least I tried (again)! I tend to need the pressure of a goal or deadline to force myself to write. I've been this way all my life. Writing papers in college was always a dramatic ordeal.

I'm currently watching a replay of the royal wedding with my mom. I did manage to wake up at 5 AM to catch the ceremony live, and I'm so glad I did. It was all so beautiful and exciting. In the days prior to the wedding I wasn't obsessed with the media coverage; in fact, I think I mentioned in my last blog post that I didn't really care about it. But when I saw it happen I changed my mind. It was impossible not to get caught up in such happy and historic occasion.

Hah, I just saw the moment when Kate got to the altar and Harry totally checked her out. He definitely wanted some of that. Chelsy who?

The ceremony music made me so giddy. It was one of those times when I love being a music nerd. I was sitting alone in my friend Ben's living room as I watched it, so I had no one to shout my reactions to but Twitter. Such tweets ranged from moments of excitement ("I Was Glad"!!! I KNOW that song!!!!) to awe (the John Rutter piece was beautiful) to occasional shameful ignorance ("God Save the Queen" is the same tune as "My Country, 'Tis of Thee"? Who knew?). I loved it all.

But where there is excitement there always must be haters. So many people had to just rant and rant about how annoyed they were at everyone's excitement. "It's just two people getting married! What's the big deal?!" Well, you know what? If you don't want to celebrate with us, don't celebrate. But you don't have to rain on our collective parade just to be contrary. Let us have our fun and be excited! It's certainly not going to hurt anyone.

Well, that's all I have for you now. I'm going to finish watching this replay. (Gosh, that dress is gorgeous! I even love the sleeves!)

It's been another fun BEDA, and I hope I can keep blogging more often. I'll definitely update soon to give you my list of reasons why I hate the south! :-)

Goodnight!

Day 28: Why I Like the South

I'm about to drive to Shreveport for the weekend, so I might as well blog now before I go.

I've been thinking a lot lately about one particular thing: the south. It's all around me. I can't escape.

However, I'm going to try to stay positive today. I now present to you:

A LIST OF REASONS WHY I LIKE THE SOUTH
1. crawfish
It is delicious. You get it from basically the same place you get shrimp, but it's so much more delicious. Crawfish boils (basically redneck clam bakes) are my favorite southern pastime.

2. the word "y'all"
The dictionary may not recognize it as an official word, but it is a perfectly acceptable contraction of the words "you" and "all." It's cute. It's a delightful word to say. Most of us don't get obnoxious with it. Your average "y'all"-saying southerner doesn't sound half as bad as any given northerner who tries to make fun of the word.

3. New Orleans
It's just a really cool city. Considering how badly my own city sucks, I'm lucky to live only an hour away from New Orleans.
Also: Austin, TX. Another really cool city.

4. your hair grows faster here
It's true.

And that concludes my list of things I like about the south. Next time I will give you my (much longer) list of reasons why I hate the south. Get excited.

So now I'm going to Shreveport to see my friends and visit the kids I student-taught. Meanwhile, although I have decided I don't really care about the royal wedding, I may try to get up and watch it anyway.

Cheers!

P.S. This is post #100! HOORAY!

Day 27: Cheating

This particular post will take a while to complete because I'm typing it little by little as I take breaks from texting in votes for Haley Reinhart. American Idol is important, y'all. WE GOTS TO KEEP THE GIRLS ALIVE.

But I have other important news, and this important news is this: I broke my vegetarian streak last night. I'm a terrible person. I feel ignominy and disgrace being heaped upon me by an invisible force.

Ok, I actually have good reasons and a logical course of action for my vegetarian future.

My problem with trying to be a vegetarian right now is that my mom does the food shopping 'round these parts. And she keeps buying turkey and seafood products just for me. I haven't exactly mentioned the full vegetarianism thing to the family yet.

And WHY haven't I mentioned the full vegetarian thing to the family yet? WELL, hypothetical audience, I haven't mentioned it to the family yet because the family tends to make fun of me for everything I do or think. Seriously. They make fun of my liberalism, my apathy toward all sports, my disdain for America, my desire to live in Europe for at least one year before I turn 30, the things I watch on television, every opinion I express that they don't agree with, and so much more. So why give them one more thing?

But I do realize I'm going to have to tell them. So I will. I'm going to tell them I want to be a vegetarian. I will eat up everything turkey- and seafood-related in the house, and then I will stop eating all meat. And I'm excited about it.

Yep. That's where I stand now. So I'm going to go vote for Haley until the polls close.

Bye!

Days Without Meat: 0 (Sad. Must start over.)

Day 26: Think Before You Hate

I just watched Demi Lovato's recent 20/20 interview. I don't know what I was expecting, but right now my heart is just overflowing with love for this girl.

I KNOW, I KNOW. I'm so cheesy it hurts. But it's true. She's been through so much, and she's so strong. I'm just in awe.

She mentioned that all of her issues started when she was bullied in school. I can relate. School kids are brutal. I was really smart, so the cool kids wouldn't talk to me. They made fun of me for getting A's. I've battled allergies and sinus problems my whole life, and I would cough and sneeze in class all the time. Brock Bogan, the jackass who sat next to me in 5th grade, would imitate me every single time I coughed. And some other asshole, whose name I can't even remember, would tease me every single morning as I walked into school. Why? Because he thought my last name was funny.

It's amazing how long these little things stick with you. I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was truly devastated. I can vividly remember failing spelling tests on purpose because I wanted to fit in. I felt like an outcast because I was the only one at my table who could spell words correctly. And can you imagine being ruthlessly tormented because of your name? Something you have absolutely no control over. I don't know how I found the strength to walk in those doors every day. I'm really surprised that I turned out as well as I did. I could've easily gone off the deep end.

I guess what kept me going was my ability to stand up for myself. My mom always made sure I knew to tell an adult if anyone was picking on me. So I did. When Brock Bogan (who is probably in jail now) was being so mean to me that I couldn't concentrate in class, I asked my teacher to move me away from him. When what's-his-name made fun of my name every single morning, sure, it made me not want to go to school. But one morning, as I ran past him with my fingers in my ears, I accidentally smacked him in the head with my clarinet. He didn't bother me after that.

Granted, violence is never the answer. But sometimes accidental violence is helpful.

Today I find that even on a stage as small as YouTube there's pressure to be perfect. Random strangers tell me I'm fat and ugly all the time. But I don't let it get to me because I know they're wrong. I guess I'm just lucky that I've always had pretty good self-esteem. I've battled mild depression off and on for years, but it's never controlled my life. Had I grown up in front of the entire world, however, I might not have been so lucky.

Moral of the story, kids: You never know what demons people are secretly battling every day. It takes at least 50 compliments to cancel out one mean comment. Remember that before you tell someone she's fat.

In conclusion, Demi is still, and always will be, my hero and my #1 girl crush. The end.

Days Without Meat: 24

Day 25: Easter Shiznanigans

My family and I spent the Easter weekend in Dallas, TX with some relatives, including my 90-year-old Uncle Buddy. He's awesome, and we had a pretty killer time.

On Friday night I saw Scream 4 again, but THIS time I went to a drive-in movie theater!


I had never been to a drive-in before, so it was pretty darn exciting. Even more exciting was the heightened sensation of being scared while watching a movie outside in the woods. Yep, it was all pretty fantastic, except for the group right next to us who decided to bring a CHILD to see Scream 4. It talked.* A LOT. What the hell were they thinking?!


Anywho, on Saturday night the family and I went to a Rangers game (that's baseball for you unsporty types). Don't I look excited to be there?? :-P It actually was pretty fun when it wasn't raining.





Then on Sunday we did the church thing, the Easter dinner at lunchtime thing, and a bit of an Easter egg hunt. It was an adult-style Easter egg hunt, however. Each person only had one egg with his or her name on it, and the eggs were filled with $5 bills. That's my kind of Easter egg.

We drove home last night since my brother had to go to school this morning. I, however, have this entire week off, so I have spent much of today reading Maureen Johnson's new book, The Last Little Blue Envelope. I'm only 100 pages in now, so I'll tell you how I like it once I'm done. I will say, though, that if things are going in the direction I think they're going, I'm going to be annoyed.

Finally, I've been thinking about how most people keep track of stuff at the end of their blog posts. I used to keep track of stuff, but I haven't done so in quite a while. So howsabout I start today, eh?

Days Without Meat: 23
Books Read This Year: 0 (Shut up. I've been busy.)
Chipotle Burritos This Year: 1
Places I've Traveled This Year: North Carolina, Illinois, Texas

But I think I'll only update these things as they change. No need to tack them on at the end if I've made no progress.

Mmkay, see you tomorrow! Possibly.

*Can you tell I have no plans to be a mother any time soon?

Day 20: Get Over It

I know. I haven't blogged since Sunday.

Tomorrow night is my choir's spring concert. This is the first concert I've ever put on ALL BY MYSELF.

So naturally I'm running around like a psycho and freaking out about everything.

Blogging will just have to wait.

Day 17: Two Awesome Things*

Alright, so last night's BONUS POST did not happen. My mom and I rented the original Scream, so I was pretty tied up with that commitment there. I forgot that the original is more serious than any of the sequels, so my poor mother kept asking, "Uh...when exactly is it going to get funny?" Ha. It was mostly just gross, but I loved it.

However, I do feel the need to tell you about TWO AWESOME THINGS that I experienced yesterday.

Awesome Thing #1: This shirt.



Back in 1993 I was 5 years old, and I was cast in my first musical. The show was The Sound of Music, and I was Gretl's understudy. However, the director thought I was awesome enough to deserve a performance, much to the dismay of the real Gretl. The real Gretl, however, did go on to play Young Cosette in Les Mis on Broadway, and THEN she got to be Annie in the Disney TV remake in 1999. So it would seem that the real Gretl got the last laugh, except for the fact that she never acted again and now works at a Hooters in Hicksville, Louisiana.**

Matt pointed out that, thanks to the real Gretl, I have just one degree of separation from Victor Garber, Audra McDonald, Kathy Bates, and Kristin Chenoweth. So I'm pretty much a celebrity by association. Worship me.***

Awesome Thing #2: ...I honestly can't remember. Crap.

Oh, well. I'll let you know if I think of it again. It really was awesome. I promise!

K, I'm gonna go do my taxes now. Woof.

*Just one awesome thing, actually. My bad.
**I don't know if she actually works at a Hooters. It's just a widely circulated rumor, which I choose to believe because it makes my story so much better.
***You should know that I am almost always joking when I sound like I'm full of myself.

Day 16: I'm Not Too Old For Laser Tag

YOU ARE CORRECT, SIRS. And ma'ams. I did not blog yesterday. I know you're all upset because I felt a faint cry of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo....." at 11:59 last night as I was sitting in a movie theater and definitely not blogging.

I just realized that typing "no" with a bunch of extra O's looks like you're actually saying "noo." Hah.

Yesterday I had a super-duper fantastically silly and fun time with some of my choir kids on our CHOIR FUN NIGHT, WOOOO. Well, first we had a 2-hour long rehearsal, during which everyone developed severe ADHD and did nothing to ease my worries that we're going to crash and burn at our spring concert next Thursday. But no one wants to hear about that.

What YOU want to hear about is me playing laser tag. For those of you who were not preteens during the 1990's, you may not have spent your formative years playing laser tag in the dark, creepy back room of your local skating rink. Laser tag involves being outfitted with a heavy vest and plastic gun by an acne-ridden teen who instructs you to shoot the players of the other team in return for points. It's not at all violent.

Well, last night I played laser tag. Shockingly, I was not very good. I discovered once again that I do not play well with small children. At one point I actually found myself screaming "STOP FOLLOWING ME, YOU CREEP!" at a seven-year-old boy. As fun as it was to practice my inadequate sniping skills, I only played one game.

But THEN we went to see Scream 4 (which I refuse to refer to as "Scre4m"), and I gotta tell ya: it was freaking fantastic! SO good and SO funny! I immediately wanted to see it again. And again. And then spend all night tonight shirking responsibility and watching the first three Screams.

In other news, I'm thinking of switching to decaf in the mornings. I've been having this problem on Saturday mornings in which I feel like I'm knee-deep in a massive hangover, but I rarely drink anymore. I'm diagnosing these unfortunate weekly headaches as caffeine withdrawal, because what else could it be?

Well, I guess it COULD be a brain tumor with a very strict schedule.* But probably not.

Anywho, kids, stay tuned later tonight, as you may find a BONUS POST to make up for yesterday's absence. CHEERIO!

*Sometimes I'm a hypochondriac. I once thought I had HIV and a brain tumor AT THE SAME TIME.

Day 14: To Be Continued?

I just finished watching Heroes. Finally. I started the show about three years ago, and I guess I got a little distracted. But at last it is done.

I don't really want to say too much about it. I realize that the show has been over for at least a year, but I still don't like to be a Spoiling Spinelli if I can help it. But I WILL say that I really like how one character's story ended. I'm not unhappy with the ending as a whole, but it did feel a little unfinished.

Perhaps that's because the finale ended with "To Be Continued..." Did they not know the show would be canceled? Or is it one of those lame to-be-continued-but-only-in-your-imagination scenarios?

Now it's time to update my lists.

Shows of Which I've Seen Every Episode:
Gilmore Girls
Hannah Montana
Arrested Development
Heroes

Shows of Which I've Seen Almost Every Episode:
I Love Lucy
That 70s Show

Shows I'm Currently Working On:
Flight of the Conchords

In current TV news, I am happy that Haley has survived another week on Idol. I'm so freaking happy we finally eliminated a boy, although I am sad it had to be Paul. He was fun to have around. Now it's time for Stefano and Jacob to get got.

Food of the day: coffee with lactose-free milk and splenda; pasta salad; Smoothie King CW Jr. smoothie; spinach and feta croissant; chocolate chip muffin; Mexican rice, black beans, and salsa; broccoli; Bluebell ice cream Mooo bar.

Oh! One last thing! I donated blood about a month ago, and yesterday I got a letter from the bloodsuckers. This letter included the identity of my blood type. So I finally know my blood type! It's A+. Yep, even my blood is an overachiever.

Bed time! Goodnight!

Day 13: Blarg Title Narf Potato

Last night I was debating going to sleep or watch another episode of Heroes. I decided to............watch Heroes!

But then I changed my mind and went to sleep. Ha.

Oh! I forgot to mention a very positive decision I made yesterday. After I ate my plate of veggie tacos at dinner, I really wanted to eat some more. However, I realized that I wasn't actually hungry anymore, so I stopped eating! I'm so proud of myself!

And then tonight I totally blew it. My mom made chocolate chip muffins. What can you do?

Alright, so food: coffee with almond milk and splenda for breakfast; pasta salad and a kids' Smarti Tarti smoothie from Smoothie King for lunch; more pasta salad and three Thin Mints for a snack; spaghetti and the world's tastiest red sauce (from this amazing local place) with green beans for dinner; two chocolate chip muffins.

Right now I'm pretty tired from my long day, what with all the watching of American Idol and the voting for Haley Reinhart I did. I hope everyone voted for the girls tonight (even if Lauren Alaina did sing the cheesiest Miley Cyrus song in existence). Those boys gots to get got.

And now I'm randomly going to recommend that you follow @annoyinghayley and @PJCalamity on Twitter. Their live blogging of Aristocats tonight was just the greatest thing ever.

Boy, I sure am exercising my right to hyperbole tonight. And with that, I bid you farewell.

Goodnight!

Day 12: A Dumb Bitch Semi-Retraction

Alright. So it turns out Jerksicle was exactly trying to exclude me from the so-called CWP Clique. But she was still being kind of bitchy and left my membership status at "pending."

If you're confused, please look back three blog posts. All caught up now? Good.

So this Jerksicle girl was bugging me with her nonstop tweets about the clique, and I decided to stop following her. (I KNOW. OH SO DRAMATIC.) So I missed the "Hey, you wanna be in the clique? Here's your first challenge!" tweet. You had to answer all sorts of ridiculous questions about the show by yesterday at a certain time. So now my official status is "out." Boohoo.

It's just as well. I did some thinking and remembered that I am fundamentally opposed to cliques. After spending all of my elementary, middle, AND high school years as an outsider looking in on the clique world, such rigid exclusivity really bothers me. Besides, how stupid is it for a radio show to play Regina George anyway?!

So I calmed down and realized that I'm not sweating being "out." I'm still awesome, and I don't really like Jerksicle anyway. I just hope this clique business doesn't ruin the show for me. I mean, it was my FAVORITE, yo.

Mmkay, so that's that for now. It was a pretty good food day! I had coffee with almond milk and splenda for breakfast and an egg salad sandwich for lunch. My mom was planning to make tacos for dinner, so I convinced her to include some veggie ingredients. So my tacos were basically a cheap attempt at homemade Chipotle: Mexican rice, black beans, mild salsa, and guacamole, with white corn on the side. It turned out pretty well for me, except for the part where I was out of my lactose-free milk and decided to drink regular milk instead. For the record: regular milk was a bad choice.

And now I'm sleepy, but I kind of want to watch another episode of Heroes. Which will I pick?

STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!


P.S. How RUDE was it of Glee to rerun the episode with "River Deep, Mountain High" tonight? Pia JUST got voted off after singing that song! Insensitive bastards, those FOX execs.

Day 11: Oh crap, I have to blog.

That's what I said approximately 20 seconds ago when Lauren Fairweather asked Twitter what she should blog about.

Here's what I'm going to blog about: TV.

Lately I've become weirdly fixated with watching every single episode of a canceled show. I finished Arrested Development a few days ago, and I'm having serious withdrawals. I'm working on a few other shows now to fill the void.

I'll give you my stats.

Shows of Which I've Seen Every Episode:
Gilmore Girls
Arrested Development
Hannah Montana

Shows of Which I've Seen Almost Every Episode:
I Love Lucy
That 70s Show
Heroes

Shows I'm Currently Working On:
Heroes
Flight of the Conchords

There may be others I haven't thought of for those first two lists, but I can add those later. And remember, we're only talking about canceled shows.

And now for the food list: coffee with lactose-free milk and splenda; blueberry Greek yogurt; pasta salad; some kind of bizarre veggie jambalaya my mom made for dinner; broccoli; one hard boiled egg.

So far I really like being a vegetarian. I'm sure there will come a day when I'll want to rip my hair out and trap myself in a burning building, but it hasn't come yet. Honestly, I've been way too busy to think about meat. So that'll work for now!

Oh! Remember the lady I told you about yesterday? Turns out she didn't have a stroke. Her tests all came back fine. They decided it was most likely related to stress and exhaustion. So that's good! It was still pretty scary, though.

Mmkay, bye!

Day 10: Strokes are Scary

Tonight I witnessed someone having what could have been a small stroke. Either that or the early warning signs of a stroke. We aren't sure.

Remember that poor girl who started speaking gibberish while reporting live from the Grammys a few months ago? I know you all YouTubed the clip. The first time you watched the video it was hilarious. Then you found out she might have had a stroke, and it was horrifying.

That's kind of how tonight went down, except it wasn't being broadcast live on national tv.

I was at church to rehearse my oh-so-ADHD children's choir for their spring musical. The kids were eating their dinner, and I was in a meeting with all the adults going on our mission trip next month. We had to discuss various awkward topics such what is considered "appropriate touching." My supervisor was leading the meeting, and suddenly we noticed that she kept repeating herself. We called her out on it and laughed about it. She said she was feeling tired and "out of it." We let it go.

But then she still kept repeating herself. I swear she said the same sentence at least seven times, and every time she said it like it was a completely original thought. So then we got worried. Her tiredness quickly progressed to dizziness. She insisted she was fine, but eventually we convinced her to let someone take her to the hospital.

Well, you can imagine what sort of rehearsal we had after that, what with all the adults rushing around and the kids wanting to know what was going on. I did my best to keep them focused on the show, but there really wasn't a chance in hell of that happening.

As far as I know she's doing alright. I'm hoping we caught this situation early enough to prevent something worse from happening.

Anywho, here's my food list:
A #1 breakfast combo* from McDonald's: egg and cheese on an English muffin, a hashbrown, and an apple juice box (jealous?); a cup of green tea; two pieces of mushroom, spinach and feta pizza. And I think I'm about to go eat some pasta salad.

Alas, I must go to bed so I can wake up and be stressed at work all day.
Cheerio!
Kaitlyn**

*Even though I REALLY wanted a breakfast burrito. Apparently McDonald's can't give you a sausage burrito without the sausage. I have a hunch they aren't made fresh.
**When the heck did I start signing my blogs, anyway? It's not like you don't know who wrote it. I think I'll stop doing that.

Day 9: Some Stuff and Some Other Stuff

Today's blog will be quick-ish. I'm incredibly sleepy and, quite unfortunately have to get up early. I, along with my brothers, committed to playing in the "youth band" (despite my fleeting youth) at church tomorrow during all three freakin' services. This was before I got sick, of course, and now I would gladly relive my tonsilectomy tomorrow afternoon if it meant I didn't have to get up early and play the clarinet.

I'm feeling a little better today, so the food intake was a little less sporadic. Somehow I managed to sleep in until noon, and when I awoke I decided it was a good time to try scrambling eggs for the first time in my life. So for breakfast I had two scrambled eggs, which actually turned out pretty well, plus a small bowl of Post Great Grains cereal with almond milk and two cups of green tea (one mixed berry-flavored and one honey-flavored). Then there was a late lunch of sorts, which was just a small Caribbean way smoothie from Smoothie King. Then for dinner my mom decided to make shrimp paella and also order in some fried shrimp, so there wasn't much for me there. I ate some fries, the tiny salad that came with our shrimp order, and a bag of mixed nuts. That dinner left much to be desired.

Therein lies one of my biggest problems with living at home: it's really hard to follow a strict diet when someone else does the shopping. I need my own place with my own groceries.

I've been trying to have my own place since August, actually, but it hasn't really worked out. I had been planning on moving into a townhouse my parents own and pay them rent, but in August they were working on renovating it. So I waited. And the renovations took forever. And then when I was FINALLY starting to get my stuff moved into the place, somebody broke in. They didn't take anything, but they definitely made a mess of the door.

After all that craziness happened, my mom decided she wants to invest in a condo in the college area of town. So now I'm thinking I'll move in there, provided she actually gets one.

I mention all of this mainly to explain why we went to look at a condo today. Yes, I was actually able to get out of bed for a little while! I think we found one we like, so keep your fingers crossed. I really need my own place.

Alright, I have to go to bed. Stupid youth band. Ugh.
Cheers,
Kaitlyn

Day 8: Still Just Lying Here (+ Dumb Bitch Chronicles, Ep. 3!)

I wish I had something new and exciting to report, but I really just don't.

After a minimal amount of sleep I awoke this morning around 6:00 AM and called in sick again. I then proceded to - wait for it - lie on the living room couch-bed for the next 11 hours (and counting)! I've just been watching various insipid television programs (with the exception of Russell Brand filling in for Regis on Regis and Kelly; that was brilliant and the farthest thing from insipid), eating minimally and sporadically, trying and failing to go back to sleep, and worrying how I'm going to pull off a spring concert in less than two weeks now that I've missed two days of school.

Gosh, that looks like quite a bit of activity when you put it in paragraph form!

As for the minimal and sporadic eating, today I've consumed five cups of green tea (two mixed berry-flavored and three honey-flavored), an egg salad sandwich on twelve grain bread, an Eggo waffle, and a Blue Bell Mooo Bar. In the near future I plan to eat something resembling dinner. I don't know exactly what it will consist of, but I DO know that it will be both vegetarian and unhealthy! (Give me a break. I'm sick!)

Oh, here's a situation I can vaguely chronicle. This dumb bitch* on Twitter has grown a huge sense of entitlement after attracting the attention of my favorite Sirius XM satellite radio show, "Cocktails With Patrick" on Cosmo Radio. She since then has become the leader of a not-so-secret club of CWP enthusiasts. As an avid listener and frequent contributor to the show (I've called in twice and tweet them all the time!), I figured I should be allowed in. However, my membership is pending due to a grossly misunderstood comment I made a while ago during "Boy Band Madness" (yes, it is exactly what it sounds like - a March Madness-style bracket to determine the ultimate boy band jam).

The match-up du jour was "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys vs. "Bye Bye Bye" by NSYNC. I voted for IWITW and wrote a purely jokey-joke comment on the poll page. I said something to the effect of "I can't believe you're all so impressed with NSYNC's ability to say things three times."

Yeah. That was it. Is anyone out there in Internetland offended by this comment? I can see how MAYBE you might misunderstand it if you aren't used to my humor, but I seriously didn't think anyone would view that comment as an aggressive bomb on NSYNC. They're my favorite boy band! Sheesh!

Anywho, despite several attempts to explain myself and assure her that I was joking, the dumb bitch is still being dumb and bitchy. Whatevs. I don't need her approval. It just sucks that she has the influence to alienate me from my favorite radio show. Boo.

Hey! I guess this post can be Dumb Bitch Chronicles, Episode 3! Let's call this particular dumb bitch "Jerksicle." It's like "jerk" plus "popsicle." Andromeda, the star of Ep. 1 and Ep. 2, is no longer in my life as she went to grad school far, far away.

If anyone would like to offer a fresh perspective on my Jerksicle situation, feel free! Or feel free to just say hi. :-) I haven't gotten a comment in a while, and I do so enjoy getting those.

I will now continue to lie here all night and possibly well into tomorrow!
Cheers!
Kaitlyn

*Disclaimer: I use the term "dumb bitch" to describe any female person who annoys me. The use of said expression is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, not vulgar. I am not in any way advocating disrespect of the female sex and/or gender.