Monday, March 29, 2010

In which I whine about boys

Every year around March I start to feel depressed. It's really annoying. I think I do believe in seasonal whatever disorder because I'm pretty sure I have it. I guess it's the fact that I'm an end-of-the-year type of girl (I love fall/winter/CHRISTMAS) coupled with the feeling of impending doom and THE-END-IS-NEAR-ness weighing heavily on my chest. Plus there's the teeny little issue of how completely not over Viktor Krum I am.

I know. I KNOW. It's ridiculous. My acceptable period of sympathy is nearly over. We were together for less than two months. But I can't shake it, guys. Not even a little. And I'm usually pretty good at letting people go. So why am I having so much trouble being heartless right now?

Here's where you're going to start hating me. It's not like I couldn't replace him if I wanted to. In fact, I have not one but TWO members of the male species currently pursuing me. One is a really good friend, and the other is a nice guy who's not an acquaintance but not quite a friend. I went out with both of them last week (not simultaneously, of course), and I had a really good time on both dates. But I haven't spoken to either of them since. They've both been calling (Yes, actually CALLING - not just texting), but I keep sending them to voicemail. I feel like a completely ass. I would be lucky to date either of these awesome guys. But I ignore their calls because I just don't feel like explaining that I really, REALLY can't do this right now so please don't expect anything from me.

This is just my luck, isn't it? I went to this school for 4.5 years without anyone wanting to date me. And now, in my very last semester, it's like everyone wants to. Where were you guys when I wasn't completely emotionally unavailable? And why are none of you Asian? That would help me a lot.

(I have a thing for Asian guys. I don't know why.)

So yeah. Any advice, kids?

In other news, I jogged an entire mile today without stopping!!!! I had never done that before, but I was determined to run a mile before I graduate in May. (Btw, did I mention that I like to run now? I do. I have no idea how this happened.) I'd been having trouble getting past half a mile, so I wasn't sure I was going to make it. But somehow I knew today was the day. I guess that's what happens when you're full of anger and resentment! I had to get it out somehow. Silver linings ftw?

I should be in bed. I'll talk to you all again soon, I hope.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Story Time


My computer cord died, and I only just got a new one earlier this week. So much has happened. Since you guys last heard from me, I began and ended student teaching high school choir, gained and lost a boyfriend (I know, right?!), began student teaching elementary music, consumed four Chipotle burritos, and finally accepted that I love Lady GaGa. Basically, it's been so long that my desktop background image is still Karen Kavett's 12 Days of Nerdfighter Christmas. Yeah.

I can't possibly recap everything you missed, so I'm just going to tell you about one particular day. The most ridiculous day of life. Also known as the day after the boyfriend (whom I have codenamed "Viktor Krum" to protect his identity) broke up.

Now, before I begin, I have to clear something up. I'm alright. Viktor and I are alright. We're actually friends again, for the most part. Sure, I'm not really over the situation, but that will happen with time. So let's not go ex-bashing in the comments, ok? No name-calling. I just had to say this little spiel because I know how loyal some of you are to me, which is amazing, of course. But let's not go crazy.

So yeah. It's the day after the break-up. I hadn't gone to sleep until about 5 AM, and my body decided to wake me up at 8:30. 8:30 AM being a completely unacceptable wake-up time on a Saturday morning, I forced myself to try to sleep some more. No luck. By 10:40 I had to get up.

I decide to allow myself exactly one day to grieve in whatever matter I felt was necessary. So, naturally, I grabbed Costas (the one who stalked Bruce Willis with me) for a picnic lunch of burritos (my new obsession, btw). We talked.

Then I needed some alone time. I was sad, but it was such a pretty day. I decided to go read in the gazebo swing but bring my pillow in case I wanted to nap. Turns out I did want to nap. And when I awoke, I saw three children in fancy clothes looking down at me. Umm, what? The little girl said, "Your hair is really pretty!" I was confused, but I smiled and tried to hide how upset I was. Someone called over to them, and I looked over to see an ENTIRE BRIDAL PARTY. Yes, I was just hanging out in the back of someone's bridal photo shoot, and no one knew I was there. I lay back down because this was MY grief day, damnit! And I wanted to swing. Once I heard a woman ask, "Is she still there? Could she move for a minute?" but no one ever asked me to. So I didn't. And that bride will forever have my invisible presence in the background of her pictures.

Eventually, though, I did have to get up and get ready for my show. It was the night of the final performance of my last Musical Theatre Group show. As if I wasn't emotional enough already, right? My friend Amanda can tell something is wrong with me, so we go outside to talk. At some point I start crying (more as a stress release than because I'm sad), so we go in for a hug. We're hugging, and suddenly I feel something gross on my hand. I take a look and discover that it's bird shit. Yes. A BIRD FLEW OVERHEAD AND SHAT IN MY HAND. WHAT. IS. MY. LIFE?! Of all the times for a bird to poop on me... I hate a bird.

Ok, maybe this day doesn't seem quite as ridiculous when you're just reading about it, but it really was! I promise. Especially when you consider that earlier in week I passed out during a rehearsal and started gushing blood for no apparent reason during "Somebody to Love" on opening night. That is a lot of crazy shit for one week.

I think that's enough for one blog post. I do have quite a bit to tell you all, though, so I'm hoping to be back soon. I've lost interest in tracking my consumption of Yeero Yeero and Pop-Tarts, so I'm not doing that anymore. Any ideas of what I should track now? Let me know!