Tuesday, December 15, 2009

You and me could write bad final exam.

Jeez, I've been blogging so much lately. It's ridiculous. As you can probably guess, I'm mostly just avoiding finals revision, but blogging more is a habit I'd like to get into, anyway.

Granted, I know that the more I blog the few comments I'll get. Whatevs!

I resisted longer than most people, but I have to admit that I finally love Lady Gaga. It's not a creepy obsession like with my teenage Disney stars, but I'm having serious trouble getting her music out of my head. It's hopelessly catchy. In fact, "Bad Romance" is playing on my iTunes right now. And while we're on the subject, how creepy/awesome is that video? SO creepy/awesome is right. Also, did you know she's only 23? Crazy.

I actually took two naps today, so I feel like this morning happened days ago. My diversity in education class final was at 8 AM. Gross. But before we could take the final we had to watch presentations from the groups who didn't go last week. One girl did her presentation on colorism within the African American race. It was really interesting. Anyway, then we took the "final," which was just some "tell me how you feel about this" or "what did you learn from this" bullshit. No big. Then I went home and took nap #1.

I woke up around 1, which was an hour later than I meant to. I had to do my econ take-home final, which I hadn't started. By the time I finished it was nearly 3, when I thought the was supposed to start. So I ran to class having not studied in the slightest for the non-take-home part of the final, and when I got there THE ROOM WAS EMPTY. Oh, my God. I freaked out. I thought I missed it. When I checked the computer I discovered that it didn't start until 4. Hallelujah. I went home, ate some substantial food for once, studied as much as I could, and went back to class. The final was multiple-choice. I have no idea how I did, but at least I could put an answer for everything!

THEN I got a text informing me that my conducting final project is due Friday instead of tomorrow (Tuesday)! Woohoo! So then I made good use of my extra time by taking another nap. Hah.

Now I'm kind of studying but mostly just internet-ing and eating chocolate. Oh. My. God. I don't even want to think about how many calories in chocolate I've consumed in the past two days. Suffice it to say that I ate an entire 8-oz. bag of Hershey kisses yesterday. Yikes.

I'm guessing that most of you know this by now, but I got a Formspring account. I mostly just got it because the name "kaitlyn" was still available. :-P So yeah, go ask me questions! If you want. It's kind of boring when I have no questions to answer.

Tomorrow I have a book presentation in conducting and my biology final. Wish me luck and shit! <3

[Note: Now that my conducting project is due Friday, I'm afraid it's still

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Pointless materialism, pointless vandalism, pointless attempts at blogging.

Shoutout to commenter Sarah for making me smile. Random people are always telling me that they have "Hangover Saturday" stuck in their head for one reason or another, and it never gets old.

Here's an anecdote that no one will care about. After years of not understand what the big deal is, I've finally become obsessed with Vera Bradley stuff, just like every other girl in the south. Yesterday I went Christmas shopping and bought my mom a Vera Bradley lunchbox. I decided I wanted an all-in-one wristlet for when I go jogging (hah) and such, but I didn't like any of the colors at the shop. So I came home and looked around on ebay.

Why the hell am I telling you this story? It's so pointless. It's not even funny. I'm sorry in advance. You can skip down to the part about....my finals? Why am I so boring????

Anyway, after much searching of the ebay, I found a wristlet in a retired pattern I like, and it was really cheap. So I bid. Then I bid again. I got into a bit of a bidding war. When I got to $20.50, the other guy stopped. That's when I noticed that the wristlet had no "Vera Bradley" ribbon on the zipper (which means it's possibly fake or used). Instead of stressing about my finals, I started stressing about ebay. I kept refreshing the page every two minutes and using my ESP to try to force someone to outbid me. Luckily, someone did outbid me this morning, but boy was I nervous. I decided to just ask my mom to get me one for Christmas, so now the pressure's off.

Hah. Sorry, I told you it wasn't funny. I swear I'm not normally this materialistic; I'm just on a kick right now. Soon it will pass.

So anyway, today we had a Handel's Messiah sing-along at church. It was fun and very chill. I wish all choir concerts were sing-along-style.

Aaaaaaaaand that concludes everything I did today. My finals start tomorrow. Hopefully my last finals ever. (Everyone cross your fingers.) I should be a lot more concerned about them than I currently am. I just want to go hoooooooooooooooooooooooooome.

Here's my schedule for the week:
Monday - 8 AM Diversity class final; 4 PM Econ final (and turn in take-home final)
Tuesday - 12 PM Conducting presentation (and turn in written project); 4 PM biology final
Wednesday - Nothing, hooray!
Thursday - Voice jury sometime in the late morning; potential student teaching interview (eek!)

Yep, I may get to have my student teaching interview! I e-mailed the education department head and requested one since my grades have improved, so my professors are going to conspire about me one more time and let me know if I'm worthy yet.

Finally, I don't know how many of you follow Lena Gabrielle on Twitter, but someone seriously vandalized the music school at Ithaca College, where she attends. The vandals completely destroyed more than 60 pianos and all sorts of other equipment, causing around $500,000 of damage. You can read more about it here. As music major and a human being with a soul, it breaks my heart to know that someone would do that. Can you imagine? Gaaaaaahhhhh. So horrible. And best of all, it's finals week, so their music juries start tomorrow.

If you would like to help with the cost of the repairs to the IC music school, please send money via Paypal to Lena at hpmusicqueen@yahoo.com. I've already donated, and I hope you will too if you are able.

Whew. I need to end this long, weird blog on a lighter note. I'm currently wearing a Threadless shirt that shows a cheeseburger saying, "I want to be inside you." Tee hee. :-P

That's all for now. Wish me luck on this finals shiz. <3

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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Life is just a bowl of enigma.

I needs to blog again, I suppose. As you can imagine, I've been busy doing things like trying not to fail all of my classes and trying not to die and occasionally stalking verabradley.com while trying not to appear materialistic. Being a girl is hard sometimes.

I suppose I ought to assure you all that life has gotten better for me. I persevered through two weeks of torture and sleepless night and pressure from all directions. My carefully honed bullshitting skills earned me A's on most of the papers I turned in. My bitchass professor told me I did a really good job on a lesson I taught in class. Duh, lady. I told you I can teach.

Now I have to get through four days of finals, although I can't really be bothered to worry about them with Christmas looming so near in the distance. The only think I am worried about is the fact that they haven't rescheduled my student teaching interview. I'm hoping it's just because I'm insignificant and they forgot, not because they're not going to let me have one. I just emailed the head of the education department and asked if I can have an interview since my grades have improved so much. In case you've forgotten, I have to have this interview if I'm going to student teach and graduate next semester. Bitch better email me back.

If all goes according to plan, I'll be out of school pretty soon. Naturally, I've been daydreaming a lot about what I want to do next. I know I want to go to grad school in SOMETHING eventually, but I don't know what yet. I'm aware that it's not smart to go to grad school before I have any teaching experience, so I should probably get a teaching job in the fall. So I think that's what I'm going to do.

Here's my major dilemma: I do not want to get stuck in this hick town. Sure, it would be smart to stay here for another year or two where the rent is cheap and the jobs are available, but I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally don't want to. I want to move to New York City. I would leave NOW if I could and never come back. I love the big city. I love the culture. I love the cold weather. And every time I go there I feel like I belong. Basically, I need to be there. That's why I'm afraid to get a decent job here. People get sucked in. This is going to sound ridiculous, but I'm actually afraid to start a relationship with anyone here because I'm afraid they'll tie me down forever. Second only to my fear of my family dying is my fear of never making it to New York. I'm a crazy person.

So yeah. That's what's going through my mind lately. Anyone out there have any connections with a school system in New York? :-P

In other news, I finally saw New Moon. I feel like a traitor for saying this, but I actually liked it. Maybe it's because I went in with such dismally low expectations (and how could I not after the waste of my life that was Twilight?), but I actually left the theatre with an odd feeling of satisfaction. Sure, there were plenty of parts that were stupid and hilarious in a bad way, but I at some point I actually caught myself thinking, "Gosh, this is SO much better than the movie version of Prisoner of Azkaban!" Most importantly, when you spend 4.5 years frolicking in an arts school bubble with hundreds of gay boys, it's nice to have Taylor Lautner around to remind you that you're straight.

Well, I guess I better get back to not studying. Anyone want to buy me this for Christmas? I need a good teacher tote, you know. :-P

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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

This blog is pretty emo. You have been warned.

Hello. Sorry I haven't been around here in a few weeks. Life is shiteous right now.

I had my wisdom teeth taken out over Thanksgiving break, so I was pretty useless all last week. That's not why life is shiteous, though. The surgery went well, and I recovered in a few days. However, my bottom left tooth area is still constantly hurting. I'm guessing he must have hit a nerve during the surgery. I'm hoping it stops hurting soon. It would be really nice to be able to open my mouth all the way.

So here's how life became shiteous.

Step 1. I have a certain professor who hates my stinking guts. Granted, the feeling is mutual, but I'm definitely the one who has more to lose. I suppose she has her reasons. The way she makes us write lesson plans is absolutely ridiculous, so I did poorly on my first few until I got the hang of it. I've been dealing with some pretty extenuating circumstances this semester, so I've been late on some assignments. I canceled a meeting with her on pretty short notice because I was having an emotional breakdown (it was two days after my grandfather's funeral), so she thinks I'm an inconsiderate slacker. I don't think there's anything I can do to change her mind. When she did try to talk to me about my life shortly before Thanksgiving break, she was completely insensitive and actually had the gall to ask me how my grandfather would feel if he knew I was doing poorly in her class. Wouldn't he want me to move on? That was the final straw. I cannot cooperate with someone so heinously inappropriate. Except, oh yeah. I'm trying to graduate this year. FML.

Step 2. Said professor decides to do some snooping around (that's my biggest problem with this school - professors always talk ABOUT you before they talk TO you) to see if I'm always a terrible student or just in her class. And of course she asks the professor who taught the ONE class I've ever had to retake (which was only because I had mono and had to miss too many classes). So now she's got the whole education department talking about me and thinking I'm a bad egg. Couldn't any of them bother to notice that I've maintained a 3.4 GPA? Clearly I'm a not a dropout risk.

Step 3. The professor whose class I had to retake happens to be the head of the education department. I was supposed to have my pre-student teaching interview today, but yesterday he sent me an e-mail notifying me that he has postponed said meeting in light of more pressing issues. I assume that these pressing issues are the ones I've already mentioned, though I'm also behind in my other education class. :-/ Did I mention it's been a really rough semester for me? Shit. So tomorrow morning at 9 AM I have to meet with all of the education faculty plus Dr. Thorn (my music ed adviser) so that they can "discuss" with me why I suck. I am completely terrified and tend to cry spontaneously (like when I see books? Lol @ communitychannel reference.) whenever I think about it. I guess it's good practice for tomorrow morning, as I will surely cry throughout the entire meeting.

So there you go. There are less than three weeks left in this semester, and I have absolutely no idea if they're going to let me student teach in January. This is my ninth semester at this school. I like my school, but I absolutely cannot stand to be here any longer. I would rather drop out and work at Blockbuster for the rest of my life.

Would I sound like a total prick if I pointed out how completely unfair it is that they're treating me this way? Other than this semester and that one other class, my school record is pretty good. I know people with abysmal GPA's, people who have had to retake multiple classes two or three times but were still passed through for student teaching. My GPA is good. My PRAXIS scores were exceptional. I even got a certificate in the mail for scoring in the top 15% of everyone who has EVER taken the grades 7-12 PLT test, along with a letter congratulating me for my scores and thanking me for being dedicated to excellence in the field of education. I'm not incredibly confident as a teacher yet, but I get better at teaching lessons every time I teach in a real classroom. I had finally managed to have a bit faith in myself as a future teacher. Why can't anyone at this school have faith in me? Ok, Dr. Thorn does have faith me, but I feel like everyone in the education department just wants to see me defeated.

Well. That went on for a lot longer than I meant it to. Clearly I am not in a good place right now. It gets worse when I check Twitter and see that other people are having lazy nights and watching movies or attending the Fiesta Movement party in L.A. People on DailyBooth and Twitter have wished me luck and told me not to worry, I'll make it. For once I really don't know if I will.

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