Every year around March I start to feel depressed. It's really annoying. I think I do believe in seasonal whatever disorder because I'm pretty sure I have it. I guess it's the fact that I'm an end-of-the-year type of girl (I love fall/winter/CHRISTMAS) coupled with the feeling of impending doom and THE-END-IS-NEAR-ness weighing heavily on my chest. Plus there's the teeny little issue of how completely not over Viktor Krum I am.
I know. I KNOW. It's ridiculous. My acceptable period of sympathy is nearly over. We were together for less than two months. But I can't shake it, guys. Not even a little. And I'm usually pretty good at letting people go. So why am I having so much trouble being heartless right now?
Here's where you're going to start hating me. It's not like I couldn't replace him if I wanted to. In fact, I have not one but TWO members of the male species currently pursuing me. One is a really good friend, and the other is a nice guy who's not an acquaintance but not quite a friend. I went out with both of them last week (not simultaneously, of course), and I had a really good time on both dates. But I haven't spoken to either of them since. They've both been calling (Yes, actually CALLING - not just texting), but I keep sending them to voicemail. I feel like a completely ass. I would be lucky to date either of these awesome guys. But I ignore their calls because I just don't feel like explaining that I really, REALLY can't do this right now so please don't expect anything from me.
This is just my luck, isn't it? I went to this school for 4.5 years without anyone wanting to date me. And now, in my very last semester, it's like everyone wants to. Where were you guys when I wasn't completely emotionally unavailable? And why are none of you Asian? That would help me a lot.
(I have a thing for Asian guys. I don't know why.)
So yeah. Any advice, kids?
In other news, I jogged an entire mile today without stopping!!!! I had never done that before, but I was determined to run a mile before I graduate in May. (Btw, did I mention that I like to run now? I do. I have no idea how this happened.) I'd been having trouble getting past half a mile, so I wasn't sure I was going to make it. But somehow I knew today was the day. I guess that's what happens when you're full of anger and resentment! I had to get it out somehow. Silver linings ftw?
I should be in bed. I'll talk to you all again soon, I hope.
hello!
ReplyDeletei read your post earlier, but i didnt know what to write, as im in a weired situation as well. the only thing that i can say (and its probably the worst advice ever) is to just let time heal your wounds. i know thats not something people like to hear when they are hurt, but it does have truth value to it. time does heal. surround yourself with good friends, books, and music. (at least thats what i do when im upset.) i know i dont know you irl, but you seem like totally sweet, smart, hilariously funny, and STRONG! you can get out of this! you will get your very own happy ending and live happily ever after. you just have to keep your heart open and full of hope. i hope this helped, even if this advice comes from a random person in the world.
<3 maribel