Friday, April 8, 2011

Day 8: Still Just Lying Here (+ Dumb Bitch Chronicles, Ep. 3!)

I wish I had something new and exciting to report, but I really just don't.

After a minimal amount of sleep I awoke this morning around 6:00 AM and called in sick again. I then proceded to - wait for it - lie on the living room couch-bed for the next 11 hours (and counting)! I've just been watching various insipid television programs (with the exception of Russell Brand filling in for Regis on Regis and Kelly; that was brilliant and the farthest thing from insipid), eating minimally and sporadically, trying and failing to go back to sleep, and worrying how I'm going to pull off a spring concert in less than two weeks now that I've missed two days of school.

Gosh, that looks like quite a bit of activity when you put it in paragraph form!

As for the minimal and sporadic eating, today I've consumed five cups of green tea (two mixed berry-flavored and three honey-flavored), an egg salad sandwich on twelve grain bread, an Eggo waffle, and a Blue Bell Mooo Bar. In the near future I plan to eat something resembling dinner. I don't know exactly what it will consist of, but I DO know that it will be both vegetarian and unhealthy! (Give me a break. I'm sick!)

Oh, here's a situation I can vaguely chronicle. This dumb bitch* on Twitter has grown a huge sense of entitlement after attracting the attention of my favorite Sirius XM satellite radio show, "Cocktails With Patrick" on Cosmo Radio. She since then has become the leader of a not-so-secret club of CWP enthusiasts. As an avid listener and frequent contributor to the show (I've called in twice and tweet them all the time!), I figured I should be allowed in. However, my membership is pending due to a grossly misunderstood comment I made a while ago during "Boy Band Madness" (yes, it is exactly what it sounds like - a March Madness-style bracket to determine the ultimate boy band jam).

The match-up du jour was "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys vs. "Bye Bye Bye" by NSYNC. I voted for IWITW and wrote a purely jokey-joke comment on the poll page. I said something to the effect of "I can't believe you're all so impressed with NSYNC's ability to say things three times."

Yeah. That was it. Is anyone out there in Internetland offended by this comment? I can see how MAYBE you might misunderstand it if you aren't used to my humor, but I seriously didn't think anyone would view that comment as an aggressive bomb on NSYNC. They're my favorite boy band! Sheesh!

Anywho, despite several attempts to explain myself and assure her that I was joking, the dumb bitch is still being dumb and bitchy. Whatevs. I don't need her approval. It just sucks that she has the influence to alienate me from my favorite radio show. Boo.

Hey! I guess this post can be Dumb Bitch Chronicles, Episode 3! Let's call this particular dumb bitch "Jerksicle." It's like "jerk" plus "popsicle." Andromeda, the star of Ep. 1 and Ep. 2, is no longer in my life as she went to grad school far, far away.

If anyone would like to offer a fresh perspective on my Jerksicle situation, feel free! Or feel free to just say hi. :-) I haven't gotten a comment in a while, and I do so enjoy getting those.

I will now continue to lie here all night and possibly well into tomorrow!

*Disclaimer: I use the term "dumb bitch" to describe any female person who annoys me. The use of said expression is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, not vulgar. I am not in any way advocating disrespect of the female sex and/or gender.


  1. *mom voice* Take vitamins and drink smoothies! Also, as much as it sucks that you're being excluded from something you like, I find it entertaining that there is drama surrounding a *best boy band song* competition.

  2. I know, right?! People are so uptight about silly things.